Next Step in the Journey

I'm starting a Journey. Actually it's a journey I've been on since is was very little....it's the fat body journey.  Really it's the uber obese journey but that word is extremely offensive.  From the age of 10 or so I'd hear things like-"Janet you would be so happy if you would loose a little weight."  Intimating that as I was I would never be happy because it was an impossibility.  Now I have pictures of me at 10, I can still hear the taunts of schoolmates calling me fatty....you know when I look at those pictures I see me towering above most of my classmates, male and female.  You get the picture?  I was tall, yep and they weren't so much.

Down through the years I have tried every diet that came along...some of them were fad diets, some whacked out diets, some were well-balanced but none of them helped me keep it off.  When I say I've tried them all, I have tried them all.....Adkins Diet, South Beach Diet, Weight Watchers (a dozen different times) Vinegar and sea weed diet, grapefruit diet, Diamonds food combining diet, The Daniel Diet....been hypnotized (that was a nice nap) and had staples put into my ear canal...man did that hurt!

Two years ago I found out that around 1968 a small, microscopic cell began to grow, abnormally in my thyroid.  I was 14 years old....this cell would grow and divide and make thousands of cells that were just as abnormal as the first one.  From 1968 until June of 2009 I had doctor after doctor feel around on my neck, prodding and poking at my thyroid - saying things like hmmm, seems enlarged but we'll do a blood test.  Tests always came bake stating nothing wrong. It took a dedicated endocrinologist to try another test, an older one and order an ultrasound.  Ultrasound showed 4 growths, the blood test showed problems too.  After having a needle biopsy I was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer.

The things I've learned since removing my thyroid.....from my endocrinologist and my surgeon amazed me.  We all learned about our endocrine system in school.  We were taught that each hormone secreted from the various glands worked together to control our hot/cold feelings, energy levels, and weight loss, not only weight loss but the ability to keep the weight off.  Chief among these glands is  the thyroid and mine had pretty much been malfunctioning since I was 14.  It actually is at the point where loosing any weight is almost impossible for me (or others like me).  SO......

So, sometime the end of January or beginning of February I am going to have Gastric Bypass Surgery.  I was hesitant at first thinking oh, this is just the easy way out BUT having gone to all the requisite classes, meeting for 6 months with the nutritionist, talking to the psychologist, talking with my doctor and others who have had the surgery it's not going to be a picnic. After the surgery my stomach will be the size of my thumb-FOREVER! Everything they told me I would not be able to eat was fine until they said no diet soda.  What?  OMGoodness what will I do?  But I know if I drink some I will be one sick puppy so I guess I'm going to have to find some really fine teas and coffees to drink.

I'm not sure what this will become....I'm supposed to keep a journal for a year and share it with my doctor and nutritionist so I might as well make it available to the world.....as if the world cares.

Prayers and Faith and Grace is all that's going to get me through this.  So be praying for me!

Jan